aureus puer
by FutureTrunksFan94
Summary: Remembering bits and pieces of her past life, a girl awakens as a ten-year old Kida, and has to face the frightening reality of being a child once again, as well as survive being a male now. Add a shockingly nice Izaya and things become very weird. OC reincarnation fic. Separate story from AD, but has some elements from it.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I plan on making this into a full-fledged AU story to the main plot, basically Marisa awakens as a little ten-year old Kida instead of 14-year old Kida. What changes are there to this? Well, first off, her memories are more suppressed because lil Kida can't handle her memories of dying real well, second it's more fluffy and Izaya is more overprotective, and third, I really like the idea of her being little again.

EDITED AS OF 7/20/17

 _"She had the feeling that she would be different from now on, that she could never go back and be the same person she had been._

 _So who am I now?_

 _Somebody fierce, I think._

 _Somebody who'd enjoy running through the darkness, underneath stars bright as miniature suns, and maybe even hunt deer._

 _Somebody who can laugh at death"_

― L.J. Smith, Daughters of Darkness

Chapter 1: REBORN AS MASAOMI?

* * *

My name is Marisa. Marisa Anderson, to be exact.

I am sixteen years old, and today, I'm going to die.

Those are shocking words, huh?

Not really, I've known so for a very long time, but it's how I'm going to die that's the most shocking.

I am going to die from cancer, it's an inoperable form of brain cancer known as glioma. It's a terrible form of cancer, from which there is not much someone can do to cure it.

Yeah, it sucks, I know, but even so there's nothing I can do to stop it.

They've tried to treat me for a whole year, and yet it hasn't even worked. I've lost my hair, I've lost my ability to study in school and had to drop out, and have become totally isolated in hospitals. I can't stand the idea of dying.

I really couldn't-at that time.

Of course, who can blame me?

Nobody _wants_ to die, after all.

I guarantee you, especially someone my age, doesn't want to, and doesn't think they can die.

But I got a big shock when I did die-for, I would awaken, as someone else. A different life, a different destiny was waiting for me, and I would never be the same again.

Let me tell you how that happened.

This was the end for me.

I was going to die, of cancer.

Just like this, wasting away on a hospital bed, IV needles in my arm, as my vision was turning dark.

My family was around me, my mother, my older sister, and my little sister.

My father had died of cancer a long time ago.

"Marisa..." My mother said, holding my hand.

I struggled to see her as my vision was swimming.

"Mom..." I muttered, "Look after my little sister for me..."

She nodded.

"Marisa!" My little sister whined.

Taking a breath seemed so hard now, thanks to the cancer that was all through my body.

"I love you all."

Then, I stopped breathing, as I took my last breath, my hand fell to the side, and my eyes closed.

I was okay with dying, this was the way it was meant to be, right?

I died rather quickly.

So that's it, just sixteen years of life-and then, bam, cut down at the prime of my life.

What a sick, horrid joke.

I was dead, right? Right?

Unable to pursue anything in life, unable to pursue my dream of being a doctor. I'd just be dead.

* * *

 _Then, I dreamed I was being chased by something...something very big and very scary._

 _I was dreaming, somehow, as impossible as that sounds, because I should be dead._

 _I was running, as fast as I could, running from the monster that was taking over my body. Was it cancer?_

 _For some reason, I was slower at running than usual. My legs seemed shorter than I remembered._

 _I stopped to take a look at it._

 _I looked behind me. The creature looked like a giant beast of some sort._

 _It was a giant monster, threatening to ensnare me with its huge tentacles. I felt like I was being wrapped up, suffocating in its huge tentacles as they wrapped around me._

 _"Leave me alone!" I hissed, but it did not let go._

 _I could do nothing but watch as the monster lifted me up into the air, about to eat me, its jaws opening wide in time to show a pair of sharp teeth._

 _I felt like Mami in Madoka._

 _It put me in its jaws and as it was about to swallow me whole, me the small figure, trembling and cowering on the inside of the monster's mouth-suddenly the dream faded. The images of the dream faded to gray, and then I did something impossible-_

 _I.. **woke up.**_

 _I let out a loud gasp as I woke._

* * *

I was quite bewildered at that exact moment, wondering why that happened.

What the hell?

I was...dead, right? From cancer...so...why...?

And yet, I was...awake.

I curled myself up in the covers that enveloped me, smiling.

 _'Hospital covers_?' I thought.

I realized several things then, as my body adjusted to being awake: first, I was very sweaty, second my vision was really blurry for some strange reason, third, I was obviously on a bed, and fourth, I didn't know where I was. Presumably on some hospital bed somewhere.

I tried to take a look around, but all I saw were blurry shapes. My vision was swimming.

I felt around me, blankly, blindly.

Also, my body ached for some reason.

I felt my legs...and I tried twitching them, only to receive a spasm of pain to reward my efforts.

So I was...alive? But... _how?_

When I squinted through my blurry vision, I could make out nothing but a white ceiling above me, and then sweat got in my eyes.

I felt like absolute shit for some reason.

However, I was also shaking and I couldn't stop myself from doing so. I must have been afraid of the bad dream that I'd had.

I felt awfully weak for some reason. Well, of course, I had, from the cancer and all.

I let out soft whimpers and curled up with the covers wrapped around me more.

I couldn't stop the shaking that was taking over my body.

A single hand traveled to my face, where I felt something wet meet my hand-an indication that I'd been crying in my sleep. Well, that was nothing new. I'd cried before because of the pain from my cancer, after all, so-

But that still doesn't answer-

* * *

"Are you all right?"

A stranger's voice suddenly interrupted me.

It sounded nothing like any doctor or nurse I'd heard before.

Who the hell _was_ that?

I nearly jumped, immediately burrowing myself back inside my covers, pulling them back over me, even though it seemed to take half my normal effort to do so. If only I were a child, I could hide under them completely...I liked the security that they gave me.

I just lay there, unable to see, and completely terrified.

I'd been near-sighted before, but at least I could see before this. Being unable to see made this even more terrifying than it had to be.

"I know you're awake," The same voice continued, "Are you all right?"

I wanted to say no, but I didn't know who the person was, so I didn't answer, cowering under the sheets, trembling and shaking. It had to have been nothing but a mere dream, right?

I knew that it had been a dream, my death, I mean.

I mean, I'm here, alive, so...

If so, then what was this? The opening acts of hell?

I felt myself taking breaths, impossible for a dream. My hands were against my sides.

Much to my surprise, my covers were gently pulled away from me, and then I was moved by someone, my body easily desisting, my head coming back to rest on a pillow. Leave me alone! I flailed madly, but they didn't stop and instead covered me back up.

Then, a hand came to be on my forehead-a gentle touch, brushing away locks of hair to do so, almost caressing my forehead. The person's hands brushed across my temple, like they were searching for something, before my head was suddenly being gently patted.

I instantly relaxed, eased by the affectionate gesture before my mind registered: holy shit, a _stranger_ is touching me, a girl. What the literal hell _is_ going on?

Had I been kidnapped? Had I been taken hostage?

 _Why_ was this strange person touching me?

I winced, letting out whimpers, to let this person know I was not happy with this situation, and to also tell them to keep their hands off me.

I felt pathetic just whimpering, but I was in so much pain I could do little else at this point.

"It's okay, it's just me. Relax."

The hand was still against my forehead-goddammit and then, the person started stroking my hair, taking the creepiness factor up to ten thousand.

It was one of the most uncomfortable things I have ever experienced. It's so creepy to have some stranger touching your hair-was I kidnapped or something?

Either way, I just lay there, terrified and utterly confused as to why someone was touching me.

I didn't know whether to scream or call for my mom or to just lie there and hope he keeps his hands to himself.

Whatever doctor this is needs to be fired.

I realized that my forehead was really, really warm.

But I liked the stranger's touch, oddly enough. I hoped the person (I was thinking it was a male as the voice sounded masculine, but I wasn't entirely sure) wasn't some sort of creep.

The stranger started speaking again, and I couldn't help but listen.

"It's okay if you want to rest," He continued, his voice was deep and strangely calming, almost hypnotic,"You can wake up whenever you need to. Don't push yourself, you know."

The hand suddenly left my forehead, causing me to move slightly. I was still very terrified that I'd been harassed like that.

It was then that I realized something. I had hair now, apparently.

How could I have hair? I'd been bald thanks to chemo...

 _What the fuck._

* * *

I opened my eyes the entire way, blinking back tears. My vision was still fuzzy, like it had been earlier. Seriously? I blinked a couple of times before shaking it off, or trying to, without much luck.

Then, I noticed, as I rolled over in bed, my eyes came to rest on a stuffed rabbit that was in my arms. I'd never seen it before. It was cute enough on its own.

Then, as I casually glanced at my covers, my eyes widened.

When were they so _huge?_

Seriously, my covers seemed so big now that it was like a giant quilt of sorts. What the fuck?

I turned my head, weakly. Even trying to do that seemed to take me a lot of effort.

"Okay, good, you are awake." The voice said, coming from somewhere near me, I thought.

I rubbed my eyes with my hands before stretching and then wincing at the pain going through my arms.

"Who-" I muttered, but even speaking seemed to take a lot of effort, for some reason. My voice sounded raspy, husky, and low, like I had a cold. Holy shit, was I drugged? Had this person drugged me and then they were going to-I was being paranoid, but what else could I expect at this point? Suddenly, some strange man was talking to me and touching me? I had every right to be scared.

"Shh, it's okay." The voice said, consolingly, and then the stranger was stroking me on the head again. This guy got even creepier by the second.

I recoiled at the touch, but my body oddly enough didn't.

"But-but..." I whimpered, wait, whimpered? I'm not some pathetic dog. I don't just complain or whine.

"I'm just glad you're all right." The soothing male voice said, "You were having a nightmare. I'm glad that you're awake now, though. You were worrying me, what with your fever as high as it was, kid." The voice rambled on and on about stuff I didn't care about.

The tone was almost...paternal? Reassuring?

Either way, I liked the tone the person was giving me. But at the same time, I was weirded out.

My vision was still so blurry.

I extended my hand out, and then I felt myself touching something fluffy, like fabric...like a jacket of some sort.

I ran my fingers along its surface.

Then suddenly, the jacket moved.

Alarmed, I withdrew my hand.

There was obviously someone there.

I heard a chuckle from somewhere near me.

"Yes, I'm right here. Is your vision bad from your fever?"

"F-Fever?" I muttered weakly, trying to sit up, but I felt too dizzy to do so. My head was pounding and I felt tired and sweaty, all at once.

"I'm glad you're able to sit up."

Well, genius, everyone can.

I finally managed to be able to see who was talking to me as my vision finally chose to quit being cloudy.

I first glanced up at the ceiling, which I did not recognize, before my gaze traveled to the room I saw before me. I did not recognize this room, not at all. It was a completely foreign room to me, not a hospital room, but rather a bedroom.

I was totally confused at this second.

"I'm over here." The voice said.

I turned my head, and that's when I saw him, presumably the one who'd been speaking to me, for the first time.

* * *

I found myself looking at a teenager sitting in a chair, he was the one who was wearing the fluffy black jacket.

He was quite handsome, he looked...Asian, maybe? Maybe about my age?

His hair was black and his eyes were a brownish-red.

I thought I knew him from somewhere, but I wasn't quite sure.

I wondered who he was and why he would be waiting for me to wake up, as I didn't know him and he didn't look like a doctor of sorts. Didn't doctors normally wear white?

Still, why was someone my age so big?

Seriously, he was huge! He looked like a giant compared to me.

Odd, we should be the same height.

I nearly freaked out upon realizing there was a stranger in my room.

I bit back the scream I'd been intending to let out.

My breath caught in my throat as I simply stared at the teen, who stared back, an expression of concern, relief, and amusement on his face, three very contradictory expressions, I wondered why he had all three. The amusement part scared me.

I mean, like the sweating, the dizziness...had I been drugged? That would explain why my voice sounded slurred.

I didn't know what to do, I just stared at him for the longest time, unable to say anything.

"Well, this is awkward. You still half-asleep?" He joked.

I blinked again.

"You sure like staring a lot today." He said with a chuckle.

I just stared at him, unsure of what to say or do. You see, I'm terrible with people. I can't socialize to save my ass.

I decided to begin the first, basic question: who the hell this guy was and why he was acting so familiar with me. It was sort of creepy. I pushed my bangs back with my fingers before opening my mouth to speak. I did not recognize this guy, nor did I recognize this room. That was never a good sign.

"W-Who are you?" I asked, my voice shaky, my high voice loud enough for me to hear-wait, high? My voice was never high, or squeaky.

My voice sounded stuffy, like I was sick and also raspier in tone.

The boy looked at me, his eyebrow raised.

"You know who I am, don't you?" He said, a hint of amusement in his voice, he wasn't bothered by this statement at all.

I frowned, biting my lip, trying hard to think about this man. A name came to my mind before I could control myself.

"I-Izaya...?" I stammered.

You mean, like Izaya from Durarara?

What the-

I didn't like my voice sounding so high. Why was it so high-pitched to begin with?

I shifted slightly, wincing at the pain that shot through my ankle. What the heck was with the pain?

"Yep, that's me. I stopped by to make sure you were doing well. You'll be fine, kiddo. I called your teacher to make sure you would have the day off today, and your homework has been brought to you by a classmate." He chattered, smiling at me.

I didn't like the way he was smiling, it was like he was talking to someone below him and I was definitely not below him.

That was generous. But still, kiddo?

"I-I'm not a kid!" I snapped.

He looked at me, before he started snickering.

"It's hard to take anything you say seriously, especially with your high voice, kid. I mean, of course, you are a kid." He said, snickering before patting my head again, only for me to recoil at the act and shake my head, no, "Hey, what's wrong?"

I registered concern in his voice, but I didn't like the stranger touching me.

"No..." I whined, "Don't...no...don't touch me!" I cried, immediately curling myself into a ball and shaking, as an instinct.

"Why are you touching me...? Are you trying to hurt me?" I whimpered.

The boy's mouth opened and closed, like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Is this your fever talking?" He asked, "You usually don't mind having your head touched."

What the-

I tried to move and stand up, but suddenly sharp, intense pain shot through my muscles and my legs. It hurt so much to even move. What the hell?

I gritted my teeth.

"Hey!" The teenager cried. "Hey, there's no reason to be afraid, okay!"

I had every right to be afraid. A girl has every right to fear a weird man touching her and acting familiar with her.

For some reason, I found myself tearing up, because my muscles hurt so much.

I could barely even move them.

Fever aches.

I could move my hands, but not my legs.

Fuck, it hurt, it hurt, it hurt.

"Damn it!" I snapped.

The man looked at me, his eyebrow raised, before he spoke again, sounding a bit disappointed.

"I know it hurts, but just hang in there!" Izaya said.

I paused.

"Just because you're sick doesn't mean you're allowed to curse!"

What the hell, I was a teenager, I was allowed to curse.

"Do you hear me, Kida? You're not allowed to curse!" He shook his finger at me in a patronizing way.

I blinked. And blinked again.

Wait, what did he just say?

He waved a hand in front of my face.

"Are you listening to me, **Kida?** "

Did he just call me... _Kida?_

What the heck is he saying?

I must be dreaming this.

I shook and trembled, scared for no reason.

"W-what the...?" I stammered, "Why...w-why are you saying that?"

He looked slightly concerned.

He came closer to me and put his hand in mine, attempting to comfort me.

"Oh no, you must be delirious. I'm sorry, kid."

However, I was disturbed by this strange...boy putting his hands on me like this, so the comfort went over my head.

Any female gets scared when a strange male puts his hands on her without her consent.

I shot up in wide-eyed panic, glancing at him fearfully, shaking. "W-what the...what are you doing? Why are you touching me?"

"Calm down, Kida-kun," He said reassuringly. "I knew you were going to be a little delirious, but you don't need to freak out like this."

Did he say... _kun_?

I'm not a guy, I'm a girl!

I immediately fought back.

"L-let go of me!" I yelped. "I don't know who you are!"

His face turned concerned, this was some good acting he had. "Kida...what's wrong?"

I froze up, too fearful of him to answer, shaking again. "...Like I'm saying, who are you and what do you want from me? I shouldn't..."

I coughed, covering my mouth with my hands.

He looked concerned again, leaned over me and felt my forehead. "Damn it..."

He looked into my eyes, and again, he was so big.

" _Of course_ you know who I am, Kida-kun. You must be delirious. I'm going to give you some more medicine to calm your fever."

That didn't sate me, if anything, it freaked me out more.

Would a kidnapper really sound _this_ nervous?

 _'How the bloody hell can I be here? I was in a hospital room-the fuck-'_

* * *

My eyes narrowed as I took in the room around me that I did not recognize.

The ceiling looked farther up than it should be, the bed looked huge. Was I in Hagrid's hut or in Jack the Beanstalk?

There were too many uncertainties here.

"C-Can I ask you something?" I stammered, my squeaky voice annoying the hell out of me.

"Sure, what is it?" He said. He didn't sound so threatening, but even so, I swallowed.

"Wasn't I in the hospital?" I asked.

He looked at me, in confusion. "What are you talking about? You're _here._ You're not in a hospital."

I don't know where here is.

I stared at him, "But I was...never mind that. W-what about the cancer?" I stammered, staring up at him.

"Cancer?" He asked, his mouth turned upwards in confusion, as if he'd never heard of the term.

What the hell? If he'd kidnapped me, he _must_ know I'm a cancer patient.

"Yeah..." I stammered.

He looked at me. "What are you saying? Is this your fever talking? Where on earth did you hear about that? You shouldn't know about such things."

I was utterly confused.

"I should be dead," I moaned, clutching my legs and shaking, "Why am I here, and...and, what do you want with me?"

He looked concerned, still trying to keep a calm face. He fidgeted slightly.

"Who put such words in your head? Who told you you should be dead?"

He looked angry, and I was suddenly frightened because a man was yelling and that scared me.

"That's not true, you're supposed to be here. Don't you ever think that you should be dead, Masaomi! This is just a little fever you have, now relax. I'm here!" Izaya took hold of my other hand.

All I could think about was the fact that a strange man was holding me down.

I struggled and thrashed.

"Get off of me! Let me go!" I whined, trying to break free. But his grip felt like steel, "I don't know who you're talking about! Let go of me! I'm not this "Masaomi!" Let go of me! Let me go!" I wrestled with him more.

"No." He said sternly, "I'm not letting you go."

"No...?" I said. "I thought I told you...let me go, please..." My voice shook, showing how afraid I was.

"No, I can't. You're not in your right mind right now. Calm down."

His look turned more into one of pity. "You poor kid. It's making you hallucinate. Just breathe, just breathe in and out!"

I didn't feel threatened by him, but even so, I didn't like being ordered around.

"No! No, I won't! Let go of me!" I continued to struggle, but he held my hands still as I tried to yank them out of his grasp.

Look, I know I have cancer and all, but I should be perfectly capable of breaking free of a kid my own age. Why was I so weak?

"Calm down, Masaomi! It's not real, it's just messing with your brain. I know you're hallucinating right now, but none of what you think is real is real."

Damned straight it wasn't.

"You're not really here, are you? This is all just a dream."

He blinked in bewilderment. "No, I'm here. This is real." He explained, "You poor kid..."

Almost like he was disciplining a small child...wait, what?

His pity just pissed me off.

I was getting more confused by the second. Part of me felt satisfied by his reassuring words, the other was utterly confused as to why there was an anime character standing near me, talking to me. Then he kept on calling me by that name, that was not my name! This Izaya was acting weird...very strange.

Izaya isn't exactly the kind of person I want to see when sick.

"Where are we?" My eyes darted around the room, taking everything in.

There were toys on the floor and books. Totally not my room. I did not recognize this room.

That just added more to my fear.

The boy still had not let go of my hands. I tried to break free, but he would not let go.

"Where am I?" I asked, quietly.

"I moved you to my house, my apartment. You're in your bedroom." He ignored my protests, and was now calmly patting my head, oblivious to my flinching.

"Bedroom?" I asked.

He nodded, "Yes."

"Let me go...please." Why did my voice sound so childish?

"I'm not here to hurt you, Masaomi! Whatever this is that's come over you, please snap out of this!"

I just looked at him, too afraid to really comprehend what was happening.

He ignored my protests, and was now patting my head again, "Calm down, it'll be okay, kid."

I shuddered, glancing at the ground.

"Stop-" I whined. Help, a creepy perv is touching me. This felt so wrong.

But why did he keep on calling me that name?

 _"Masaomi."_

That name...was not my name.

Was this some kind of nightmare?

"How do I know you're not trying to..." But then I was suddenly cut off by a violent cough that erupted from my mouth, causing me to cover my hands with my mouth as I started coughing even more.

This caused him to let go of my hands, jumping back, startled.

"Masaomi-kun!" Izaya cried,"Are you all right? Maybe you need more of that cough medicine." He sounded _genuinely_ concerned, which alarmed me further. He felt my forehead again.

I didn't feel a threatening aura from him, but even so I was still scared.

"Not good, your temperature's gotten higher. You must be delirious and experiencing delusions." He summed up, "Masaomi, are you all right?"

My eyes widened.

"That's...not my name," I gasped out, still panting heavily and shaking. I did not like this one bit. I wanted to get out of this bed, away from all of this.

I just wanted to get out of here.

"Look, Masaomi-kun, we really don't have time to discuss this right now," He said, "Your fever is still burning up. You should get some more rest." He assured.

"You're not well enough to move about yet, okay?" His voice was shaking. "You're starting to scare me, please just hang in there."

"You're just trying to hurt me!" I protested, trying to sit up again, only to suddenly sneeze in the process. I wiped my nose with my sleeve, puzzled. I _did_ seem to have a cold of some sort.

"I'm not here to hurt you!" He held out his hands. "See, no weapons? I'm not here to hurt you!"

I was floored, before I immediately fell back on my bed, eyes closed. When I woke up, he wouldn't be here.

I opened them a second later. He was still there.

"But...but..." I muttered, trying to sit up, only to gasp at how much my limbs were hurting. Even trying to stand up hurt.

I whimpered upon feeling pain in my legs.

"What's wrong?" He cried.

"It hurts..."

"What hurts?" He said in alarm.

"My legs..." I whined.

"It must be fever pains. Oh, I'm sorry, kid. I wish I could help."

 _'He wants to help me?_ ' I thought in disbelief.

I immediately tried to stand up, but he caught my hand and pulled me back onto the bed. I was unnerved by how much control he had over me.

He immediately took my hand and pulled me back down onto the bed. "No, don't try to walk. Your balance isn't right right now. Have a drink, it might make you feel better. Just lie there for a bit."

He filled a cup with water and got up to go put ice in it.

Now was my chance to get out of here.

I sat there, calculating what to do. I didn't see my cell phone anywhere.

I tried to take one ginger step out of bed and instead, I almost collapsed. My legs were shorter than I remembered; they were too short and awkward as fuck.

It felt like the world had become larger overnight. I clung on to the side of the bed, but even so, it was no use. I let go.

What the hell is going on? How can the world become bigger all of a sudden? And why is that person patronizing me? Why is he acting like he wants to help?

And why...why did he keep on calling me...Masaomi? That's not my name! It never was!

 _'It always has been,_ ' A voice in my head said.

Before I knew it, I was off the bed and falling toward the ground, scrambling frantically in mid-air. Oh, great, upcoming head injury.

All I knew in that second was that I wanted someone to save me.

" _ **Masaomi-kun!"**_

* * *

I opened my eyes, in time to see that my face was in fabric.

I glanced up, bewildered.

The next thing I knew, I was suddenly in his arms, staring up at him.

Wait, staring _up_?

 _What the hell?_

How can he catch me and hold me, a girl of sixteen years of age, in his arms?

That sheer fact should be impossible.

I stared up at him, into his face, wondering why on earth I wasn't able to look him in the eyes, confused, but still struggling to get out of his arms.

"Relax. Everything will be fine," He whispered, "You scared me! Please don't do that again, Masaomi-kun! You could have hurt yourself! I've got some water here for you to drink."

I was sorta thirsty, but I wasn't going to accept something from a stranger.

I stared up at him, utterly baffled, feeling terrified at how on earth someone my own age could catch me like this. Was he...Superman or something? How the hell else can I be held by someone who was the same height as me?

"Put me down..." I whined.

"Not until you promise me you're not going to do that again." He scolded.

If he wanted to hurt me, why was he acting concerned?

"Stop...condescending me!" I whined.

He raised an eyebrow.

I literally didn't understand anything that was going on at that point. "What happened?"

He set me down on the carpet. "Here you go. Drink carefully now." He handed me a tiny cup of water, the tiniest I'd ever seen. I stared at how tiny it was with wide eyes.

"Bigger cup?" I asked.

"You would spill it easier, in your feverish state." He pointed out.

I just gaped at him.

Then I realized something very terrifying.

He came closer to me, he towered over me, wait, towered?

A teen my own age was suddenly a lot taller than I was.

'Did I...did I shrink?'

I was like 5'5, and yet I was suddenly several inches shorter than I should be.

 _Why_ was I so fucking short now?

I trembled and shook, backing away from him. "W-What do you want from me? Did you kidnap me or something? I'm supposed to be dead! Why am I so short?"

"Oh god, you don't even recognize your own height. Calm down and drink," He said, still with the same nervous smile on his face, "Just drink, kid, **please.** "

I felt the sense of desperation in his voice, it sounded sincere enough.

I slowly drank, feeling more energy come back into me. But I still felt nauseated and tired.

"W-What happened?" I stammered, as he once again picked me up and placed me back into the giant-sized bed.

"You wouldn't remember, but you passed out from a fever you caught at school, Masaomi. They wouldn't take you to the hospital, so I picked you up myself and brought you back here. It's two in the afternoon now. You've slept for a while."

I blinked, trying to process this impossible story. I'd died. But suddenly, I was with a cosplayer calling _me_ Masaomi and calling _himself_ Izaya.

This was absurd. I had to be dreaming.

I pinched my arm. It hurt.

"My head hurts." I whined, and indeed, the more I tried to think about what had happened, the more my head spun. I had no idea how I'd gotten here, but I knew one thing. I needed to get out- _now._

I started to try to climb out, only for him to grab my arm.

"No, you cannot leave this room. I'm sorry, but you're just not strong enough right now. You need to sleep. You're not well."

Sweat dripped down my face as I sat there, trying to free myself from him. "L-let go! I don't know who you are, I don't want to be here, and I just want to go home!" I screamed. My voice sounded like a child's. Not like an adult's, but a _literal_ child's, "You're going to hurt me or something!"

He frowned before lifting his hand up as if to slap me, but then lowered it, instead staring me down.

"Your fever...it's worse than I thought. You poor kid, you can't even control what you're saying. Listen to me." He said,"This isn't you talking, it's just your fever screwing with your mind."

"No, it's not-" I yelled, "Now, please, let me go. Let me go!" I whined.

"No, I can't. Just relax, Kida-kun. Your mind is lying to you. You know who I am, and this is your home. I would never hurt you. You're just confused right now. I'm really sorry this is happening to you. You don't deserve this."

I just gaped at him before pulling back, feeling tears of fury rise to life in my eyes. Tears of fury at my own powerlessness and the sudden weakness of my body, and tears of fury at the insanity going on before me.

"There's nothing to be afraid of. I'm here. Don't be afraid."

But I _was_ afraid.

I didn't know him, I didn't know what was going on, and I didn't want to be here.

"Masaomi-"

"That's not my name." I mumbled, suddenly crying.

I supposed I'd reached my breaking point.

"That is your name." He repeated. "You don't really mean anything of what you're saying, kid."

He handed me a tissue, which I accepted.

"T-Thanks..." I whispered, still extremely awkward with what was happening.

"How...old am I?" I asked.

"You're ten, Masaomi." He said, not in an angry tone, but in a patient tone.

" _Ten_?" I muttered.

Wasn't I sixteen, last I checked?

"I'll bring you some food, so just relax and get some more sleep. You can fight it off. Just calm down and relax. This is just a simple, nasty bug that you got somehow."

I coughed again before he tucked me back into the bed, despite my protests, pulling the sheets on over me and placing a cool rag on my forehead.

"How does chicken soup sound?" He asked.

I just stared at him before nodding, still too stunned to really engage any further.

So I'm a child now? How am I supposed to believe that?

I didn't like any of this at all.

I didn't like how I was so short, nor how my voice was so high.

I didn't like how my limbs just weren't responding like they should be.

So I was...sick?

Was this a dream?

Holy shit, that was Izaya Orihara!

He glanced at me, patted my head, and said,"Get some sleep. You need it."

Then, he walked out the door.

* * *

Then, I heard him suddenly talking into a phone.

"Hello, Shinra? He's awake, but he's completely out of it."

I sat up more, a little alarmed, even more so upon hearing the word 'kare' drifting into my ears. Wasn't that the Japanese word for...he?

I wasn't a guy!

I strained to listen.

"He doesn't recognize me and he's scared of me, and I don't know why. I should've just taken him to the hospital. He thinks I'm out to hurt him."

There was a pause, then he spoke up again.

"Don't you dare accuse me of being selfish, Shinra! You're the one who told me to bring him back here, and now he's accusing me of wanting to hurt him! How am I supposed to react to that?"

I then realized it sounded like he was speaking Japanese...and I could understand every word of it.

"Hang on, I'm probably too loud. He could be listening."

The door opened a crack, but I was already lying down, feigning sleep, and then the door closed again.

I just sat there and listened.

"He's asleep. I just can't take this, Shinra, I can't. It's like he has amnesia. Is he...is he...not going to get better?"

Then I could hear faint sobbing.

Izaya was crying. I was even more puzzled than ever.

The tears sounded genuine enough.

That was...the real Izaya Orihara?

Come to think of it, this Izaya was a teenager.

So that confirmed it.

These were real anime characters.

A sense of guilt overwhelmed me. Hearing him cry broke my heart, but at the same time, I felt that I didn't know him. This is Izaya we're talking about, he's a horrible person. I just lay there, trying to pretend I hadn't heard anything at all.

But if I was in an anime like I suspected I was, then what did that make me?

But, that meant that what he was calling me-

Like an alarm going off in my head, I sat up again, despite the pain going through me, recalling how he kept on calling me "Masaomi" and "Kida."

There was just no way that was possible. _No way_.

I needed to figure out what was going on here.

I moved slightly, pulling at the covers, before my gaze went to my hands, and I gasped.

Gone were the dainty, slender, girlish hands I recalled, that were painted with nail polish and were those of a teenager's. In their place were a pair of pudgier, smaller, thinner hands, hands that did not have nail polish on them, nails that were dirtier. These hands were tanner and even more muscular. These hands were those of a child's.

They were not my own.

"W-What the hell?" I stammered.

I gasped upon realizing that my voice sounded like a _boy's._ There was just an inflection to it and a deeper pitch that was impossible for a female. But that was absurd.

As I touched my throat, I realized something was there that hadn't been there before. The name for it escaped me.

I glanced down at my shirt. It was not mine (and it was so bloody small!) I did not recognize it.

I couldn't help but place my tinier hands on my t-shirt, and felt.

Frowning, I lifted my shirt up and put my hands on my chest.

My chest was completely flat.

I had no breasts.

"What the...hell?" I gasped.

I noticed that my feet were tinier as well, and thinner.

I just sat there, shaking and sweating, feeling like shit.

I didn't like where this was headed.

Not at all.

Then, I felt a sensation.

I blushed. Oh, man, I needed to use the bathroom.

Izaya came back in later with food, before I blurted out, "Can I use the bathroom?"

He nearly dropped the food but caught it, before looking at me in concern. "Are you sure?"

He caught me again, "Don't go out of bed on your own right now, kid. You need to be more careful. If you need to puke, use the toilet."

I realized then how awful my stomach felt as I let him guide me out the door, my hand in his, feeling utterly humiliated at such a notion.

The idea of me having to be guided by someone!

"Thank you...Izaya..." I muttered.

"Niisan-"

"Right..." I muttered, "I don't feel so good."

"You're a brave boy, you can handle it." He patted my head.

 _Boy_? Why was he calling me that?

I was a sixteen-year old girl.

Those hopes of mine were completely shattered when I sat as usual and then-

"Masaomi-kun, why the _hell_ are you sitting? You should be standing."

"Oh..." I muttered.

"You're not a girl, after all."

My mouth dropped open.

"What's with that face, Kida-kun? You really _are_ sick, aren't you? Poor kid." He muttered, "I'll wait outside the door for you."

"Izaya-" I said, but he was already gone.

He was already outside.

As I turned back to continue my business, my eyes widened.

I had a...a... _penis._

I was a boy now, apparently.

What the fuck. Who had switched my sex?

But how?

I was definitely shorter, too, probably by a good six inches.

I was too short to reach the mirror, so I stood on one of those step stools and looked in and my eyes widened. The figure I saw in the mirror was not me.

Instead of the sixteen year old I should be seeing, a small boy looked back at me. That boy was Masaomi Kida. Same blond hair, same golden eyes, looking at me in shock. I shook, frightened by this revelation. The Kida in the mirror was younger than the Kida I knew.

I grabbed at my blond locks with my smaller fingers and examined them.

Blond, blond hair.

I was a blond now.

On top of that, I was an anime character?

I let out a gasp before nearly falling off the stool, and then I felt the urge to retch come over me.

I made it just in time to the porcelain throne.

Nice first day.

"Masaomi-kun, are you-" Izaya said, approaching me.

"Uh-huh, I'm sorry." I muttered, not exactly in a talkative mood.

For some reason, I was giving in to childish instincts, even though I didn't want to.

I knew I'd died of cancer, but I couldn't seem to think of _how_ I'd gotten here. Every time I thought about it, my head started hurting even more.

"Are you done now?"

"I'm fine..." I whined, wiping my face off with a tissue.

"You're not fine, you're a child, you need your rest." He said.

I stood there, as he helped me wash my hands and then guided me back to the room.

I looked up at him. "Izaya..." I said.

"What?" He said.

I suddenly started to cry then.

I held back the tears, but they poured down my face anyway.

Fuck these child-like emotions.

"Why are you crying?" He said in alarm.

"I'm...I'm sorry...I'm being so useless, I should be of more use to you. I'm sorry I'm so weak right now! I just want to help you...you're not here to hurt me, Izaya. I'm sorry!"

Emotions that were not mine swept through me.

"It's all right, Masaomi-kun. I know how you feel because of your parents abandoning you. But now that I'm looking after you, I swear nothing like that will ever happen to you again."

What?

Masaomi-er, me was literally being looked after by Izaya?

I couldn't help but sink into this as I was put back into bed.

"I'll let you have some more water." He said.

"Hungry." I said.

"You can't have any food, you're sick."

My metabolism probably wasn't as demanding as it used to be.

I let out a loud cough, though.

"I'm bringing Shinra over here so he can examine you."

Oh, goody.

I just nodded weakly before falling into a dreamless sleep, haunted by my rumbling stomach and the bizarre new reality of me being a child again. Not just that, but a male, and an anime character.

* * *

Only to be woken by the loudmouth, Shinra.

"Masaomiiii..." There was a flashlight being shoved in my face.

"Masaomi, show me your vital signs."

"Not fun," I whined as I had my tonsils looked at.

Then he put the stethoscope on my chest, and I squirmed, uncomfortable.

"Why are you doing that?" Izaya asked.

"Relax, Kida, it's a normal part of the procedure."

"He has a sore throat, a sinus infection, and definitely some kind of stomach bug. It should pass in a couple of days."

"So that's what caused his hallucinations about being dead?" Izaya asked.

"Probably."

They were speaking about me like I wasn't here.

I bristled. "It wasn't-" I began, but shook my head.

"Your imagination was messing with you." He said in concern.

Nobody would believe me if I were to talk about it.

So now I was a ten-year old again, now I was a male, now I was in anime land and now I was Kida Masaomi. Shit.

Izaya turned back to me. "You can watch some cartoons on the television in there."

I nodded weakly as he guided me back. My limbs still felt like jelly and I wanted to eat so badly, but I couldn't.

"Hungry."

"I'm sorry, Kida, I wish I could. But you can't handle food right now..."

He turned the set on and I engrossed myself into the land of cartoons to distract from my new and frightening reality.


	2. Chapter 2

**And Marisa is slightly more negative/hostile to Izaya at first as she still doesn't know/trust him as well as Kida does. Kida will return, don't for why Kida acts more childish than other kids his age, he was abused/neglected by his parents, so this makes him more emotional/slightly a bit slower at emotional learning than other kids. He's more clingy and cries more than others his age.**

 **"When we are children we seldom think of the future. This innocence leaves us free to enjoy ourselves as few adults can. The day we fret about the future is the day we leave our childhood behind."**

― **Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind**

Chapter 2: A CHILD'S INNOCENCE

* * *

 _"Marisa, Marisa, what would you do if you weren't in this bed?" A little girl with dark hair asks, looking at me as I sit there, IV needles in my arms, unable to move._

 _Well, what else? I'd be up, moving, and about like you._ _I entertain her with a smile and instead tell her a little fairy tale about why I'm here._

 _The little girl laughed and smiled at me. "I'm sure you'll get out of that bed sooner or later and be happy again!"_

 _I smiled a_ _t her,_ _"I know_ _that I will come back! I will be able to live and be a normal person."_

 _"That's so good, I get so worried!" The little girl chirped, handing me a stuffed dog, which was quite cute, before she turned and walked away._

 _"Wait, who are you?" I cried, but she didn't listen and walked away._

 _"What kind of cancer is it?" A woman with dark hair said, stroking my head as I sat there, hands on over my face, sobbing._

 _"I'm afraid it's brain cancer. A rare form, known as glioma." The doctor said, staring at me._

 _"Glioma?" I muttered, "What's the survival rate?"_

 _"Very low." He replied._

 _My heart sunk. How was I supposed to live like this? I might have my head opened (brain cancer wasn't easy to operate on, after all!) and such._

 _Suddenly, my surroundings warped...in time to show a little boy staring up at me, as I sobbed. He watched in concern, with eyes of a child, innocent yet not._ _I didn't recognize him from anywhere, yet his golden eyes seemed familiar._

 _"Why are you crying, lady? Did someone call you a name?"_

 _I shook my head, continuing to sob_ _, wishing this kid would just leave me alone._

 _The boy frowned. "Did you get a hurt somewhere?"_

 _I nodded. "Yeah. I'm really sick."_

 _"You can get better!" He chirped, happily. "Izaya-nii tells me people can get better!"_

 _"I'm not going to get better." I told him, "I'm going up to heaven."_

 _"That's not fair," He said. "I just met you and you're going to heaven already?"_

 _I nodded._

 _He frowned before sitting down beside me and looking at me. "Are you lonely?"_

 _Of course I was. "Where are your parents?" I asked._

 _He looked at me funny. "We'll meet again, lady. What if...you'll never see them again?"_

 _"Of course I will!" I cried, but then I was suddenly...awake, in time to see my family._

 _My family, talking animatedly._

 _I held the covers closer to me and wept, remembering that horrifying nightmare about being dead, about being a child and somehow being an anime character. No part of that had been real at all...right?_

 _Suddenly, my family got up and walked away from me._

 _"Hey!" I cried out._

 _"You're not supposed to exist, you're supposed to be dead." A voice whispered, and I turned in time to see the figure of a man with dark hair standing there, smiling widely at me, a smile that sent shivers down my spine._

 _"Come here...I'll help you out!" He said, stepping closer to me._

 _I tried to run, but he was too quick and had pinned me down, as I struggled and flailed madly, kicking and trying to beat him back._

 _"Go away! Leave me alone! Stop hurting me!"_

 _"Sorry, but it's a secret, isn't it? You know you can't escape me." His slimy hand touched my cheek, and I started screaming and crying, kicking at him, trying to beat him back with my bare hands, before running in the opposite direction, trying hard to escape him._

 _"You little shit, I'll kill you!" He snarled, and I fled._

 _I lay in a dark alleyway, breathing hard._

 _I could hear him coming to find me._

 _Who was he, and why did he send such fear down my spine?_

 _"Hey!"_

 _That voice...who did that belong to?_

 _I glanced around, but saw no one._

 _"Hey, are you okay?"_

 _Again, I did a double take. No one, but I noticed that the dream was shattering into pieces._

 _This is a dream-no, I'm supposed to be here._

 _"Wake up!"_

 _Who was that?_

 _I turned my head. "No...leave me alone!"_

 _"Kid, wake up already!"_

 _A firm shake..._

* * *

At that second, my eyes flew open, in sheer and utter panic, recalling the sheer terror of my death, as I lay there, trying hard to catch my bearings.

I snuggled up more in the covers that surrounded me.

I let out a soft whimper, pulling my covers over me more. I still felt hot and achey all over.

I was glad I was waking up, everything seemed normal-aside from that bizarre nightmare I'd had where I'd been turned into a child, (and a boy!), I was so glad that none of that was real. I wasn't a child anymore, I wasn't a guy, I wasn't sick and I wasn't an anime character.

"Not possible...I'm still here..." I mumbled to myself, smiling.

Then, I heard movement as a shadow made itself visible from my eyesight. I cowered under the sheets, taken aback temporarily.

The blankets were suddenly taken from me, exposing me to the outside world.

I blinked, before realizing that there was a giant standing over me, a very tall someone standing there, and blinked. There was a stranger here!

He sat down before looking at me again. "Are you all right? You were...you were thrashing around in your sleep...like someone was going to hurt you...and you nearly hit me! What's going on with you, Kida?" He asked.

Wait.

What the fuck.

Oh...then, it dawned on me again, as I sat up more-this was still real.

My world fell to pieces again as the reality settled back into place.

"Masaomi-kun?" I blinked as he was _right in front of my face-_ and let out a soft gasp, moving back slightly. "Are you okay now? You were...really out of it earlier."

I didn't know how to answer, so I just nodded my head as a yes and just stared at the ground sullenly, still unable to believe this was real.

So I actually was dead. I literally _was._

"Masaomi?"

I ignored him and just focused on the things around me.

Everything was still...wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

The sheets on the bed were still too big. The hands clutching the sheets were still too small, too thin. The room was completely unfamiliar, still.

Everywhere, my body felt too small, which made me very uncomfortable with the knowledge that I was physically a child. It made me feel scared.

A tiny hand came to rest against my t-shirt before I could plainly tell that it had not been a dream. My chest was still flat as it had been earlier.

Then the feeling of what shouldn't be there between my legs but was came to me as well, causing me to blanch slightly in disgust before just gazing up at Izaya-fuck he was huge, before looking away, not able to really think of anything to say.

I barely even knew him, and yet I was somehow, inexplicably, a kid who'd been living the past ten years of life as a fucking boy? Highly unlikely. I had no memory of any of that and I certainly would have.

I paused, as he ruffled my hair, before grimacing slightly at the contact, but not really resisting. I had recalled what happened to me before. But all I remembered was that it had to do with a scary man and nothing else. My memories were hazy and vague before I'd gotten here. I just remembered dying...and then.. **.then what?**

I shut my eyes, trying to recall.

Nothing.

The next memory that entered my head was of me awakening here.

How could that be? Why wasn't I a fucking baby? Why was I just a ten-year old kid?

I just stared at Izaya. Why was I stuck pretending to be a kid? What kind of sick fuck thought it was funny to stick me in that position? I let out a whimper of pain, but otherwise said nothing, just giving him a grumpy look.

"Are you fine?" He pressed, "It'll be all right, because now I'm here!"

I just stared at him, getting quite irritated by his cheerful persona. Nothing about this was fun in any way.

"Masaomi-kun? Are you all right?" There he goes, again using that name, as he felt my forehead. I just let him, silently flinching. "That's good, your fever's gone down, Kida."

'Not my name, not my name, not my name, not my name!' I hissed in my head.

Oh, well that was good, I supposed. Can't have the body I'm _stealing_ be sick, after all. I let out a slight whimper, and coughed at the same time. Shit, I hated being sick. I twitched, and flinched at the ache of pain coming from my leg, though it wasn't as bad as last night. I concluded that this was either real, or else that this was some sick person's idea of purgatory.

"What's with you today? Why were you screaming in your sleep and acting out? Are you all right?" He sounded kindly enough, but I just couldn't trust him. He was acting, I was sure of it.

I shrugged my shoulders, just wishing I could forget this whole thing ever happened and be dead.

"Look, if you don't tell me what's wrong, I can't do anything to help. You've been acting quite odd all day, Masaomi-kun. What can I do to help?"

 _'Liar, he's lying. Lying, don't believe him. This is a man who hurts people.'_

But when I looked into his eyes again, I felt an immediate sense of guilt go through me. Guilt for stealing this kid from him, guilt for being a little shit towards someone who was just trying to help (me, him, us?), and guilt for being satisfied about hurting someone else. It wasn't fair to him. _Why_ did I feel this way?

I recalled all the things he'd said.

'Calm down, you'll be fine!'

'It's okay, I'm here!'

This was totally confusing. Izaya Orihara was showing...genuine concern and kindness for me? What the fuck is going on? He'd caught me to prevent me from falling and injuring my weaker body...now he was here treating me?

His every action so far had been kind and altruistic, not motivated by any selfish actions whatsoever.

Even so, the same emotion that was within me bubbled up again: a strong sense of regret for being such a brat to someone who was just trying to help, and also...deep sadness at being torn away from everyone and everything I loved. But on the other hand, here was someone who cared, presumably and who was alive.

I was alive...however that was.

Tears pricked at the surface of my eyes and my lips trembled. All fear the child temper tantrums, but it was coming, anyway.

"Masaomi-hey..." He said, but I didn't even answer and instead flung myself at him, burying my head into his shirt, crying. My face was burning in embarrassment at this childish act, but what more could I do?

I _wanted_ to cry after all I'd been through.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong, Masaomi!? W-Why are you crying all of a sudden?" He sounded alarmed, freaked out, even. Like a teenager in over his head.

I gasped upon feeling myself suddenly being smothered in a hug back, and blushed even more.

"Masaomi, relax! You're _safe_ here! It's all right, just tell me why you're upset with me! I can't fix something unless I know what it is I'm doing wrong."

I could die of embarrassment right now.

I flushed bright red, embarrassed at being hugged by a man my own (well, _mental)_ age, and sniffed loudly.

"I...I was really...real...real mean, I-Izaya...niisan..."

Niisan? What the shit.

No way in hell would I refer to him as my brother.

Yet my brain was telling me he was my brother.

Crazy shit.

"I...I didn't mean to say go away and leave me alone...I don't want to be left alone. I-I'm sorry! You're here to help me and I'm sorry!" I whined, making as sincere an attempt I could to apologize without getting more tears on his shirt. God, I wanted to die of embarrassment right now.

"It's okay." He said, and suddenly he was away from me. "Everyone gets a little mean when they're sick. No one likes being sick, Kida-kun. What matters is you apologized. I'm glad you're back to normal, you were acting so stiff and unlike a child it had me worried."

Shit, he'd noticed? I wiped my nose with a tissue before looking up at him, my eyes puffy from crying. "You sure?" I didn't like how my voice sounded like nails on chalkboard.

"Why don't you tell me why you were acting like I was going to hurt you and who told you about cancer?" He asked, looking at me seriously.

I fidgeted under his gaze. "Saw it on TV." I mumbled, pushing my blond bangs back, "I was...scared from a nightmare where I wasn't alive...I died..."

I noticed the momentary look of...anger on his face before it passed.

"Who told you about death?" He asked, "You shouldn't know about those things."

I shrugged. "Dunno."

I wasn't sure if he bought that answer or not.

He sighed, looking at me in disbelief. "You were scaring me, kid. You know I'd never hurt you, right?"

I nodded. "You'd never hurt me."

His smile was bright and genuine as he ruffled my head before turning back to the soup he'd brought in with him.

"Do you want to eat?"

I nodded eagerly.

Kida or not, I was starving.

He handed me yet another tiny cup with hot soup in it.

"Be careful, Masaomi."

I nodded, "T-Thank you, Izaya..."

"Niisan..." He reminded, "You never forget that, usually. Must be your sickness."

I paled slightly.

"Niisan." I added, a little annoyed.

It tasted so good to eat, but Izaya cautioned me to eat only as much as I could take.

It was then that he informed me that I had puked several times over the course of the night.

It was now mid-morning of another day, apparently.

I shifted slightly, a little annoyed that I couldn't eat more.

Izaya suddenly placed something small in my hands.

"Your friend gave this to me for you."

It was a card, written in sloppy Japanese.

Yet I could read it.

The fuck.

I had apparently been listening to Japanese and speaking it, and understanding it. Kill me.

How was that possible?

"To Masaomi," I read.

The inside showed sloppy stick figures, one with black hair, the other with blond.

"I've been awfully worried. Mom and Dad told me you'll come back to school. Take care, Masaomi!"

The name scribbled at the bottom was printed in child-like letters, but even then, it made me double-take.

"Signed, your best friend, Mikado Ryuugamine."

 _Mikado. Ryuugamine._

There was no denying it now. I **was** in Durarara.

But how the fuck can I be young Kida with young Mikado?

This makes no bloody sense.

I smiled at the misspellings, though.

"Mikado is so nice." I said, smiling.

"I'm glad you're more conscious. Are you conscious enough to do some homework?"

I made a sound of disgust.

He sighed. "You've gotta get it done sooner or later, Kida-kun."

I sighed, deciding to humor him and do this homework.

...How do you do this?

"You've never been very good with numbers, have you, Kida-kun?" He asked.

Upon seeing my blank stare, he laughed.

"Numbers are hard. Shizu-chan is stupidest at numbers, though."

"Not nice to make fun of people." I muttered.

"You usually never stop talking, Kida-kun." He said, flicking my forehead.

"Tired." I said, and it was true. I was tired.

I was feeling drowsy, ready to sleep again.

"I'll give you another pill for this flu and then you can rest."

I was led back to the bedroom (once again, being led by hand) and hopped into the bed.

"Ow."

"You can't jump up quite yet, you're still injured." Izaya scolded.

"Izaya-niisan is being annoying."

He bristled. "I'm not annoying."

"I was the annoying one." I muttered, placing my head in the covers.

"You're not annoying, Kida-kun. Want me to read you a story before you sleep?"

Oh god, not this.

The condescension made me wince, yet at the same time the other side of me wanted to hear a story.

"Okay." I said, resigning myself for some terribly written children's story.

I had to sit through a painfully bad children's story and suddenly I was already sleepy.

"Are you sleepy now?"

"Uh-huh." I muttered, from how bad it was, of course.

"I'll let you sleep for a while then, Kida-kun. You can go back to school tomorrow."

He flicked out the lights, leaving me in darkness and realizing a growing horror. Oh god, school.

I was ten. I'd be stuck with sniveling brats.

Elementary school was the absolute worst-hell.

' _Hell is a bad word_ ,' The whiny part of my head said.

I smiled, knowing one good thing, I was cancer-free, for now, anyway.

Maybe...maybe being Kida wasn't such a bad thing.

* * *

Too bad, I didn't calculate for the existence of Shinra Kishitani.

Yes, yes, being Kida was very bad, I had to conclude, as Shinra Kishitani was examining me yet again.

I'd had to wake up to the sight of Shinra flashing a light in my eyes, real pleasant, and then have a freaking physical? I was just sick!

I glared at him in visible irritation, swinging my legs back and forth as he was taking my pulse and sticking things in my mouth yet again.

Does he ever shut the hell up?

I know it's cute and all to yammer at kids, but really it's annoying.

"I think he's tired of your talking, Shinra." Izaya snarked.

It was after school, so Shinra had stopped over to examine me.

"He's definitely improving, Izaya."

"That's good." Izaya muttered, coughing, "I think I might be getting his sickness."

"That's okay, if you get sick, he can always come live with me and Celty!"

I paused. No way in hell was I living with him. This sick guy dissected people.

"I live with Izaya-niisan." I whined, coming toward Izaya instead.

"Sorry, Shinra, he prefers _me_ over you." Izaya said smugly, looking very pleased with himself.

"What? What's wrong with me?" Shinra whined.

' _You're whiny, annoying, rude...plus you talk too much. You scare him_.' Celty wrote.

I stared up at her in fascination. Celty.

I never dreamed I'd be face to face with her, much less like this.

My favorite character had been Shizuo, though.

Then the vapors suddenly appeared, causing me to jump back.

"Don't scare him!" Izaya yelped.

 _'I didn't mean it!'_ Celty typed.

"It's okay." I said, doing a manipulative kid smile, "I thought they were cool!"

Celty immediately started shaking.

 _'He's so adorable, Izaya!'_

"I know." Izaya muttered in annoyance.

I started laughing, which made Shinra laugh, causing Izaya to shake his head.

"You're all against me." He complained.

"I like Izaya-niisan." I chirped.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Time for another chapter. This story is so good. We will see Mikado's reaction to Kida, little Kida telling OC to be nicer to Izaya, and Izaya's thoughts on Kida, and a surprising bonding moment happening between the two of them.

We will see OC!Kida bonding with Izaya first, (his fever acted up again so no school until the next chapter), then his dream with little Kida telling him/her to be nicer to Izaya, and then the omake where Izaya muses over Kida. I know you're all clamoring to see smol Mikado. I am, too.

Chapter 3 Bonding with Izaya

* * *

Izaya knew Kida was a strange kid.

He was, after all, he'd had an unusual life, being bounced back and forth between terrible parents who'd allowed him to be neglected and then abandoned him, only to suddenly change their minds and try to "abduct" Kida back from Izaya after he'd already adopted the kid, only for Izaya's parents to intervene and say, no, he belonged to Izaya, so leave him alone.

He'd dyed the kid's hair in an attempt to make him look different. And it worked, they didn't recognize him anymore and quit trying to kidnap him back. They weren't the best of parents, anyway.

Anyway, as things were, Kida was as normal as he could be, aside from this bizarre fever and his weird behavior. He'd burst into tears for no real reason and had suddenly apologized for his odd behavior, so Izaya was glad that part was over. But for some reason, his fever had acted up yet again today, so here he was, confined to the bed once again, much to his annoyance.

He knew the kid hated being in bed like this, but he had to wonder: was it just hallucinations that caused the kid to behave like he had before? His mind flashed back to how desperate Kida had been, acting like he didn't know who Izaya was or even who he was, demanding he be released, it was like he was someone else entirely. The look in his eyes then had been of completely sincere confusion, the look someone gives someone else upon meeting them for the first time and not knowing what to expect from them.

He'd acted **nothing** like the boy he'd recalled, instead he was utterly terrified of Izaya and that puzzled him. His reactions to him patting him on the head were strange, too, as were his reactions to being called a kid. _Surely_ Masaomi knew he was a kid and accepted that. Then why the sudden denial?

The thing he couldn't get over was _how_ he had insisted that he _wasn't_ Masaomi, and for a second, Izaya _almost b_ elieved him, until he knew, then, that this wasn't Masaomi talking, but his fever making false impressions in his mind. He must've been stuck in some nightmare he couldn't escape, some sort of fever dream that had extended itself to reality, which explained why he hadn't recognized Izaya, why on earth he'd been acting so strange, and his suddenly odd and distant behavior.

There was no way the kid before him on the bed wasn't Masaomi, he was just sick. That's all. He'd already been regaining his normal cheeriness, though he still kept on calling Izaya by "Izaya" or "Izaya-san" instead of using the one term he used more often for him: "Izaya-niisan." That change startled and perplexed him.

He was glad he didn't have to look at those eyes, though. They reminded him too much of an adult's, and it freaked him out, as Kida was ten bloody years old. He shouldn't have eyes like a teen, but he was acting like an adult in some ways. Then he recalled how Kida was acting like he should be dead, and he wondered if Shingen had told Masaomi something sick to mess him up.

That sounded like something that old man would do, he was a sick fuck when it came to children. Shinra wouldn't say things like that, and neither would Shizu-chan. That only left Shingen and Shingen had seen Masaomi a couple weeks ago. Maybe he'd whispered something into the kid's ears about "cancer" and telling him it was some terrible disease that could kill him. Which logically would lead to a child's mind imagining what it is and thus generating some horrifying nightmares.

Speaking of nightmares, he really had to sleep and study for a test tomorrow. He couldn't afford to take any more school days off to look after Kida-kun. He watched the boy as he rested, his chest rising and falling peacefully, but still he twitched in his sleep.

As he got up to go leave, however, a sudden movement brought him back to focus on Masaomi. Masaomi's left hand was extended out from his bed, out in Izaya's direction. He wanted...he wanted him for something.

* * *

"Please...don't go. Stay with me...please. I don't want you to leave me alone, Izaya...nii-san." The boy's voice was shaky and stuffy, but he was either talking in his sleep or else he was awake.

He looked over in time to see the kid was awake, but barely, his eyelashes fluttering open.

"I need to sleep, Kida." He said, but the kid's hand grabbed onto his, and pulled him closer.

The grab was not one of forcefulness, it was more or less...like a sign of...trust. Like he trusted in him, like he wanted him there.

"I...trust you...Izaya-nii. Thank you...for looking after me...when I'm real sick like this. Promise you won't leave?" He said, golden eyes unfocused.

He saw the eyes of a lonely child now and nodded. "Yes, I will wait here until you fall asleep."

"Okay." The kid smiled and then he eventually drifted off to sleep, relaxing, as his hand slipped out of Izaya's, Izaya got out of his chair, stretched and yawned, and then headed off to his own bedroom.

The next morning, he'd found the kid had somehow kicked all his stuffed animals off the bed and made an utter mess of the sheets. He wondered how he'd done that. Oh, nightmares.

Wild things, they are. Children.

For a few moments, his eyes scoured over the small figure of the child, as he lay, curled up in his blankets, peacefully sleeping, his favorite stuffed rabbit nestled in his arms. He called it Conan after his favorite show. Next to him was a dog plush as well.

The smile on his face relieved Izaya, he was glad the boy was sound asleep and enjoying himself without any nightmares to bother him. Kida-kun didn't deserve to suffer like that. He knew by the rise and fall of his chest that he was fine.

He almost wanted to not wake him. Smiling, Izaya pulled out his cell phone and held it up and then quietly snapped a picture of the kid as he slept, remembering that his parents had called earlier, worried about Kida, and wanting to see how he was doing. He pulled up his email and then sent them the picture before closing his phone and sighing.

He sat down by the bed, simply watching the child move slightly, his legs twitching. But other than that, he was normal. He smiled before shaking the child slightly.

"Masaomi, it's time to wake up."

The boy was groggy. "Five more minutes."

"Sorry, Masaomi-kun, it's time for school. We need to get you dressed, cleaned up and ready for school."

The boy's golden irises flickered open as he sat up, looking at Izaya in confusion before stifling a yawn and then staring at his chest for some strange reason. "G-Good...morning, Izaya-san." He stammered out, coughing slightly.

"That cold is still around, huh?" He muttered, feeling the kid's forehead.

The kid didn't protest, instead he just flushed at the close contact.

"Well, Kida-kun, let's get ready to go. First, let's get you some breakfast."

The way the boy's eyes lit up told him all he needed to know: odd behavior or not, Masaomi-kun was back.

* * *

I couldn't believe I was going back to school, as a male of all things. And then there was the awkward incident I'd had this morning, er woken up to. I glared at what shouldn't be between my legs.

"These things happen, Masaomi-kun. It's part of being a guy." He said reassuringly.

Not that that helped my dysphoria with my new body any.

Once we got to the school, I was immediately tackled by a blur.

"Masaomi, I missed you!" The high voice whined.

I found myself gazing into a pair of bright blue eyes that were glimmering with tears. I was looking at a chibi version of Mikado Ryuugamine.

Right now, he was an innocent child.

I smiled despite myself, ruffling his hair. "Hey, Mikado, I'm back." I said. But I didn't know him.

He smiled, wiping away his tears before guiding me to my feet.

Then he stopped as he took in Izaya. "Who's that?"

"This is my niisan, Izaya."

"Hello!" Izaya said cheerfully, which caused Mikado to squeal and run behind me.

"Mikado..." I muttered.

Some things were still the same.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N:Anyhow, it's time to work on the next chapter of this fic, where Marisa goes over more of her memories and deals with the elementary school life and adjusts to being ten years old again (and all the hardships that come with being male now, lol). I'm so disgusted with the government right now. They want to take away our healthcare and discriminate against LGBT people. Please will sanity just come back?

 **""Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart."**

― **Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore**

 **""The worst part of holding the memories is not the pain. It's the loneliness of it. Memories need to be shared."**

― **Lois Lowry, The Giver goodreads dot com slash memories**

Chapter 4 Memories and Past Events

* * *

 _I was chasing someone. And that someone wouldn't let me catch up with them. They were moving very fast. My little legs couldn't catch up with them._

 _It was a girl, and she was heading toward a house, with a dog in the yard, barking excitedly at her arrival._

 _I tried to come toward the fence, but instead I went right through it. The dog didn't seem to notice me, even as I came toward it. I liked dogs a lot, I always wanted Izaya-nii to give me one._

 _Still, I watched the dog interact with the girl, and it never even noticed me, just playing with it, as it cuddled her and licked her all over, I couldn't help but feel envious._

 _She turned her head and noticed me, however. Then, she turned and went inside, disappearing into a house._

 _"Hey, wait!" I called out, heading toward the door, but the door blocked my entry. I couldn't get in. Then, and only then, did the dog come toward the door, entering it as well._

 _"Hey, let me in!" I cried._

 _The young girl looked at me, but returned to her position on the television, I could see her through the window, watching her TV...and was...was that me on the TV? It looked like me, and like Mikado, only older._

 _I was utterly puzzled by this weird dream I was having._

 _The girl continued watching the television, oblivious to my presence._

 _Then, she finally noticed me and approached me. "Hi, wanna play with me? I'm Ma-" She began, but I couldn't hear the rest of her name. It was drowned out by some weird noise._

 _"I'm Kida!" I exclaimed._

 _She took my hand in hers, but then everything disappeared, before I found myself in front of the girl, who was now in a bed, as IV needles pricked her arm, I felt it prick my own and drops of blood came out of my arm._

 _"What's happening?"I cried._

 _Then, I saw awfully big, creepy things inside her that looked like cocoons, only they pulsed and hurt her._

 _"Get out of her! Leave her alone!" I cried._

 _"There's nothing you can do for me. I'm going to die." She said softly._

 _"Come with me! I can protect you!" I cried, extending my hand out to her._

 _She took my hand in hers and then suddenly she was a little girl, happy and joyful._

 _"Thank you...you saved me." She said, before she vanished._

 _"Wait, come back!" I cried. But I was by myself again._

 _Then I saw Izaya-niisan walking away from me._

 _"Izaya!" I cried, but he ignored me, walking away, further and further away._

 _"Izaya-nii! Don't leave me behind!" I yelped, rushing to him._

 _"Masaomi! Masaomi, wake up!"_

* * *

I lifted my head up from my desk in time to see Mikado standing there, looking concerned.

"You fell asleep in class and now it's lunch time. I don't think the teacher is very happy." He said, looking a little worried.

Oh. I recalled the dream I'd had, something about my old life before when I was female-and then something about Kida-er, me, chasing them. Why was it every time I tried to think of my old life, it just felt fuzzier and fuzzier?

Perhaps I was meant to forget, now that this world was my reality? Or maybe, just maybe, it was because the other part of me, the real Kida, didn't want to know? I could feel him inside me, wanting control.

We hadn't yet accepted each other, so that explained the disconnect.

"Masaomi?"

A hand was waved in front of my face before the use of the name registered on me. I'm still not used to this name yet, just like I'm not used to this body yet.

"...I need to use the bathroom." I muttered, sticking my hands in my pockets.

"You've been awfully quiet and out of it today." He said, looking at me in concern. "Are you sure you're better?"

"I'm fine, Mikado." I stressed, but stopped, I sounded too harsh.

After all, I was a kid now, shouldn't I be trying to act more playful and childish?

I mean, I didn't have cancer anymore. I was...free from that. As that fact registered on me, I suddenly felt a bit brighter about this whole second chance I'd been given. However this happened to me, this must have been for some reason.

As we headed down the familiar yet unfamiliar hallway to the bathrooms, I went to the left.

"Masaomi, what are you doing?"

The tug on my sleeve made me pause and turn to face him.

"What?" I asked.

"That's the _girls'_ room. You're not trying to look in on them, are you?" Mikado said, looking a little confused.

I blinked, then realized it did say girls room and flushed slightly, before turning toward the boys' room and going in. Oh boy, I'd already forgotten about the whole sex switching thing. But I felt like I'd always be female, even in this body.

It was then that I realized...people would be watching me.

Oh god. _How_ did guys deal with this?

I was glad to have that be over with, even through Mikado's questioning stares.

"How come you're blushing, Kida-kun?" He asked.

"I got sunburned." I said, lying through my teeth.

"You're just embarrassed because I caught you trying to look at girls-"

"Shut up!" I growled, my face turning even redder.

"I knew it. You always talk about girls, Kida-kun." He prodded me in the side.

Pre-teen hormones? Kill me, please.

Then it struck me that in a couple of years, puberty is going to hit me...again.

Oh, man, I'd never dealt with male puberty before.

At least I wouldn't have cycles. I chuckled under my breath.

I couldn't help but follow Mikado as he led me back to the classroom where we had our lunches, those typical boxed lunches.

"How come you're messing up the chopsticks?" Mikado asked.

"I was sick," I said through mouthfuls of sushi.

This tasted different than most American food I was used to, yet I wasn't bothered by it. It was just the lack of conventional food I was used to, like pizza, burgers, etc.

The chopstick was uneven to hold, and I wound up dropping a piece of food.

"Masaomi, don't get the wasabi in your mouth."

Too late, my chopstick had grabbed onto the green piece of wasabi without thinking and now it was in my mouth.

'Hot! Hot! Too hot! Oh god, why did I do that? I hate wasabi!'

I ran around and around, in anime physics, my face turning red as I gagged. Why did I do this to myself? Just get it off me!

"Masaomi, calm down! Just spit it out!"

I said what was supposed to be, "easier said than done," but thanks to the wasabi, it came out as " _eathier sed than dun_!" Wow, real articulate, Masaomi.

Wait, why am I calling myself Masaomi?

"Here's some water!" Mikado gave me some cold water and I chugged it down, finally spitting the wasabi out into a tissue.

I gagged, holding my throat and making dramatic gasps.

"You can stop the acting, it's gone, Kida." He said in annoyance.

"I thought I was going to _die_." I gasped out.

"It was just wasabi. Next time, don't pick it up." He said, "You're normally not bad with chopsticks. Is something bothering you, Kida-kun? You're just acting differently and it's worrying me. I get really worried, you know."

Suddenly, I thought of an idea to get him off my case.

I got back up, eying him even as he was still whining.

"You know, I'm awfully worried about you, Masaomi. I just get so concerned when you go off and do things on your own."

Then I went behind him and suddenly, started tickling him.

"Masaomiiiiiiiiii!" He jumped back. "Hey, don't do that! You know I'm ticklish! Stop it!"

That was one way to take him off guard. "Turn that frown upside down!" I said, grabbing his jaw.

"Hey, stop it, Kida-kun! You're the one who's supposed to cheer up, not me." He pouted, but he was laughing and then I was, too.

This wasn't so bad.

We finished our lunches and no further mention was made of the wasabi, though I'm sure Izaya would hear about it later and laugh at me.

I was still taking notes when the bell finally rang to let us out of school and then we went to our lockers and I was studying my reflection. I'd had brown eyes before, but now they were closer to amber brown. Still a brunette, technically.

"Masaomi, quit looking at yourself." Mikado scolded.

"Okay!" I chirped, closing the locker door and then retrieving the outdoor shoes. What was it with the Japanese and moving their shoes around?

I was learning things one step at a time, I supposed.

I nearly tripped but Mikado helped me up.

"Growing pains?"

I nodded. My leg hurt.

Damn the pre-teen years.

"You're pretty short for a ten-year old, Kida-kun but we'll probably both become really tall!" He said encouragingly.

That didn't help me any. I didn't like being under five feet, I missed being five foot. Being this short was annoying, it really did make things different. The world looks completely different through a child's perspective.

Everything seems bigger and more frightening, though I thanked the "kami" that I wasn't six or seven at least.

"I'll be taller than you, just you wait!" I yelped.

* * *

"My, my, arguing between friends?" I turned in time to see Izaya standing there.

"Izaya-nii!" I cried, trying to act like a child, coming toward him and hugging him.

He did not like close contact.

"Masaomi, please, we're in public." He muttered.

It was then that I noticed the two figures behind him.

The two little girls who were hiding behind him, looking at me.

 **Mairu and Kururi Orihara.**

I'd completely forgotten about them.

Weren't Izaya's parents looking after them?

"My parents are in town, so I have to look after these two. Say hello to Kida-kun, girls." He said. When they didn't make any sound, he sighed. "Mairu, Kururi, say hello."

"We don't have to, Iza-nii." Mairu pouted, sticking her tongue out at me. What a brat.

"...Hello. Kida-kun...you are doing?" Kururi muttered, smiling shyly.

"I'm doing fine, Kururi-san." I said, waving in response. They were so little.

Mairu glared at me. "I don't like you, you steal Izaya-nii away from us."

"Mairu, behave. He's part of our family-"

"No, he's not! You're just adopted!" Mairu yelled.

"Mairu, that's enough! Apologize." Izaya said sharply.

"See you, Mikado!" I said, waving goodbye to the stunned black-haired boy, who waved goodbye before turning away, a little shocked at that.

"...Mairu...mean." Kururi said.

"I'm not mean! I just don't like him! He steals Izaya-nii away!" Mairu said.

"You're with Mom and Dad often, while he's with me a lot. It's only fair, now please, Mairu, behave yourself around him. He was sick." Izaya scolded, holding my hand and flashing me a reassuring look.

I returned it and ignored Mairu's jealous stares.

"Normally you insult me." She huffed.

"Masaomi _knows_ how to behave, Mairu." Izaya said cheerfully, causing Mairu to flush red.

"Calm...Mairu." Kururi said.

Well, this was awkward.

What were Mr. and Mrs. Orihara going to be like?

I flinched, not liking the implications.

Izaya's parents were probably just as bad, if not worse.

Izaya swung the door open in time for him to be attacked by his mother in a death hug.

"Izaya! It's been forever! You've gotten so big!"

"Yes, yes, Kaasan, I know, now get off me!" Izaya growled, not looking very happy at being the center of attention, so different from his older self.

"I just missed you! And there are my girls!"

"Mommy!"

Then Mairu and Kururi were tackling Izaya's mother and hugging her before their father came over and distracted them, and greeted Izaya.

Then they turned their gazes upon me.

I instinctively hid behind Izaya.

"Masaomi, you know them." Izaya scolded.

"He's always been shy, hasn't he?" Izaya's mom said, smiling down at me. Goddammit, can adults quit being so condescending?

"Hello, Orihara-san." I said, pressing my fingers together.

"Still so formal!" She said, laughing slightly before I was suddenly being smothered in a hug. Help me. Help.

"You've grown taller! Izaya's been taking good care of you, you're not skinny anymore-"

"Mom, stop it! You're suffocating him!"

I stepped back, frazzled by that attention.

"Hello, Kida." Was all the father said to me. _Ouch_.

I got the feeling his dad still didn't accept me.

"Dad, you could be nicer." Izaya muttered.

"It's been a long day and I'm tired." He said, ignoring me again.

"Don't worry about him, he's just not good with children." Kyouko assured me.

That much, I could tell.

"Izaya-nii, can we play with the remote?"

"Mairu!" Their mother went over to scold them, and I just clung to Izaya, unwilling to leave his side for a second. I didn't know any of these people.

"Masaomi, you can't always cling to me." Izaya said softly before patting my head. "You're getting too old to be like this."

"I like Izaya-nii best." I said.

"Are you uncomfortable with this many people here?" He asked.

I nodded. "I can...I can share."

"I'm glad you didn't say anything when Mairu insulted you. She's just jealous."

* * *

I went up to my room and closed the door, flopping down on it, as I could hear Izaya arguing with his sisters. His attention was away from me for a while, so I could just think.

So now I had a new family.

Okay then.

But I still missed my family, my parents, my life. As nice as they were, it wasn't the same. I wanted to go back to my old family. I let out a sniffle before I was softly crying. I knew I sounded ungrateful, but I missed them so much. I just did!

Was it wrong for me to be upset?

Mairu's words had struck a chord in me that I didn't like. I didn't belong here. She was right.

I had no right to be here.

There was a knock on my door.

I heard it open, and soft footsteps came in.

It was Kururi. She was holding something. "For you."

It was an action figure of some sort.

"Thanks!" I said, smiling. "You're so nice, Kururi."

She flushed. Could it be...that Kururi had a crush on me?

Oh god. I was just a step sibling, though.

"Dinner." She said.

Oh no, family time.

Kill me, please. I wasn't sure if I could handle Izaya's mom's overbearing nature, Izaya's dad's sharp looks, or Mairu's spoiled behavior.

Regardless, I went anyway.


	5. Chapter 5

_"I did not begin when I was born, nor when I was conceived. I have been growing, developing, through incalculable myriads of millenniums. All my previous selves have their voices, echoes, promptings in me. Oh, incalculable times again shall I be born." —Jack London, The Star Rover_ _www dot reversespins dot com slash famous quotes dot html_

 _I think I said before that Marisa would be more forgetful here than anywhere else. In Aureus Puer, her memories are going to be sealed up soon enough and she will think of herself as Masaomi because smol Masaomi cannot handle the pain of someone else's memories until he is old enough to. Some things will still be recognizable. I hope you can forgive me for doing this._

Chapter 5 Acceptance and Forgetting the past

* * *

As I sat there at the dinner table, swinging my legs, I looked at all the unfamiliar yet familiar faces around me, as they talked, laughed and ate.

I was the only silent one, moodily picking at my food and eating it with chopsticks, watching them and imitating. It seemed to come naturally. I had always been good with chopsticks, wait-why am I thinking like this? It's not like I've come to believe I've always been here.

Or had I?

The more I thought about it, the more the events of the past seemed like some fantasy, some fairy tale dream cooked up by the mind of an imaginative kid. However, I knew it had been real. But now, with nine years of memories that were not my own syncing with me, I felt confused and overwhelmed.

I knew these people, yet I didn't. Izaya's mom liked sweets and doted on her son, Izaya's dad was strict yet kind, Mairu was mean yet warm, Kururi was cold yet nice. I recalled other times they'd been here, eating food. They didn't come very often, that's what the memories said.

Izaya's dad was cold towards Kida because he believed in traditional families and had been against his son bringing in an outsider to the family. Because of this, he barely even acknowledged me, er Kida. Same thing.

I drank the sweet drink Izaya-san had given me, smiling at Kururi and barely speaking, until Izaya's mother addressed me, apparently having noticed the odd one out.

"Kida-kun," She began, "How are you doing in school?"

Every eye was on me.

I winced. "Um...I'm doing fine."

"Last I checked, Masaomi had two Bs, a C and two As." Izaya cut in, smiling at me.

The sight of his smile warmed my heart, somehow. He was proud of Kida and I could feel that warm emotion sweeping over me. Emotions that weren't mine were clouding my mind. I'd been determined to not get attached or think of this as anything more than a ridiculous play. I was just an actor masquerading as Kida.

"Very good! I'm proud of you." She said, "Just for that, we have some cookies. Your favorite, cherry."

I smiled widely. Sweets were always good.

"Thank you, Ky-Kaasan!" I chirped.

Her eyes widened. "Did you hear that? He called me mother! He hasn't done that before, Izaya!"

Izaya stared at me with wide eyes. "I always thought he would never come to accept you two as his parents. He's still attached to his old parents, even if they abandoned him."

"Well, of course, he would, he's been through so much at such a young age. He was, what, six when that happened."

"What happened?" I asked.

Izaya looked at me and nodded. "Your parents gave you up for adoption. Not quite in the traditional way." His eyes flashed with anger and I suddenly knew.

Mairu spoke up. "Wasn't he abandoned on the side of the road like the garbage he is?" She said scornfully, glaring at me.

I narrowed my eyes, but still said nothing. Had Masaomi, er, the original, been abandoned by his own parents? How could any parent do that?

My face flushed, I said nothing and continued to eat, meeting Izaya's approving gaze.

God, could this family reunion be over with already?

What strange and unpleasant people.

"Masaomi. I believe you do not belong here. However, you are part of this family now. Do not let us down." The father said, looking at me in a way that made me want to gag.

Ew, he didn't like me at all, did he?

Was he threatening me? I was only ten!

What a creep.

"Dad, you're scaring him!" Izaya growled.

"Who wants dessert?" Kyouko said, coming back with some cake, "Belated birthday cake for Izaya!"

"Mom, you didn't have to-" Izaya began.

"Happy birthday to you!"

A nudge from the mother and Mairu sang Happy Birthday while Kururi said Birthday You. I sang, too.

"What do you wish for, Izaya?" His dad asked.

"I wish for Shizu-chan to go away forever, I wish for my sisters to be better behaved, and I wish for Kida to be happy. That's about it." He said, spearing a piece of the cake and gagging at how sweet it was.

"Too sweet?" Kyouko asked.

"Yes, why didn't you get the non-sweet kind?" Izaya exclaimed, drinking some tea to down the taste of too sweet cake.

I was eagerly devouring mine. You know how kids are with their appetite.

After that, Izaya's mom and dad gave him presents. Mairu and Kururi gave him a new jacket.

I got up and put my dish in the dishwasher, excusing myself as I went to go to my room, not noticing Izaya's eyes following my path as I left.

I couldn't handle all the emotions, mine or Kida's, swirling around in me right now. There was hurt by having been abandoned, irritation at having been insulted by Mairu-how dare she imply family would abandon me! My old family loved me dearly.

Then, the father-what an asshole. I punched a toy and knocked it over before storming into my room, and flicking on the television before settling down with a stuffed animal I'd plucked off the shelf, watching in boredom as a cartoon played.

I tried hard to hold back the tears, but they came, anyway.

I couldn't stand how much the father rejected me-him-us.

I could see, memories of Kida trying and failing to win Izaya's father's affection. Memories of Mairu pushing Kida over into the mud, stealing his stuff and being brats.

I didn't belong here. I knew this.

They'd already done a great job at reinforcing that fact.

I should be dead. I shouldn't be here.

'Dead, dead, dead, dead!' I screamed in my mind.

'No, you can't die, lady. You're my companion!' A sweet voice said in my mind.

I turned in time to see a little boy there.

"Kida?" I asked.

He nodded. "They'll like us eventually. They're just jealous. This is your life now. I'm you and you're me. We're becoming one!"

"What do you mean?" I yelped, but he disappeared.

As my eyes snapped open, I realized I'd been dreaming and shot up, staring at the TV screen.

There were red marks under my eyes, so I'd definitely been crying again.

Shit.

"I don't like them. They're so mean." I whimpered, for once feeling like a helpless child.

I just wished I could forget I had ever been a teenager. Just pretend I belonged here, forget that, know I belonged here. But I couldn't forget.

I just couldn't.

Burying my head in the pillow, I continued to cry, until I heard a knock on the door.

"Masaomi?"

It was Izaya.

The only person besides Celty and Kururi and Mikado I'd grown to fucking trust. It made sense for me, who'd been in a traumatic situation with cancer, then died, then woke up again with a new body and new life, to cling on to the first person to show me affection and kindness. He reminded me of my father before he'd died of cancer.

But Izaya...I shuffled, wondering if I should tell him the truth about me. About who I really was or had been. Was it too early? Would he think I was crazy?

There was only one way to know.

I looked up as the door opened and Izaya walked in, before sitting down on my bed.

"I'm sorry about Mairu. You know how she is. She's jealous of you and how close you are with me. And as for Dad, he takes a while to warm up. He seems like a jerk, but he's a nice guy."

He noticed me crying and hugged me tight.

"It's okay to cry, you had your feelings hurt. Let me tell you the truth about your parents, Kida. I told you they had to give you up for adoption, right?"

I nodded mutely.

"Well, that's not entirely accurate. You came up to me, saying they'd abandoned you. You had your possessions and some clothing and food in bags on your back. They'd abandoned you with only a few of your possessions. You were distraught-er, sad, a crying mess. I didn't know what to do with you. I was only twelve at the time. But Mom and Dad investigated and charged them with neglect and they're in jail now."

"Oh." I said. "What's neglect?"

"It means when someone doesn't look after someone properly. They ignore them, they don't feed them when they're hungry or comfort them. That's what your parents did, Masaomi. They only cared about themselves." He stroked my hair, staring at me intently.

"I still...love them." I said.

"That's natural. Even the meanest parents are still loved by their children. It's not your fault they were not nice people. I'm glad you're here." He said, patting my back.

I relaxed, wiping my tears away.

"Thank you, Izaya-niisan. I feel better when you're here." I said softly.

"I'm glad. I was really worried about you, kid. I was afraid you'd never call me niisan again. I thought you'd lost your memories. But you were just sick, right?"

He stared at me, noticing my hard to read expression.

"What is it? Something you want to say?"

"Uh-huh." I said, "I have something...real serious. I hope you don't hate me for it, Izaya-niisan. I just can't fib to you any longer."

"Masaomi?" He asked, staring at me in concern.

"I want you to listen to me. Okay?" I said, looking into his eyes.

He nodded, a little stunned.

* * *

Izaya's POV

To say I was speechless was an understatement.

Kida-kun's behavior and personality suddenly changed again.

He looked like a child, but his speech was suddenly serious, like an adult's.

What the...heck?

What's with him?

"Masaomi? Are you feeling all right?" I asked.

He nodded. "I'm fine. Physically, yes. Not so much in here." He pointed at his head. Why was he talking like an adult? The expression on his face, the look in his eyes, was entirely different from the Kida I knew.

"Are you sick again?" I asked.

"I'm not. I just want you to know the truth. At first, I was afraid of you. But I see that you're different. That's why I want you to know, Izaya-san." He said, looking a little afraid. "About..why I acted that way."

"Why? It was because of a fever, wasn't it?" I asked, confused yet again.

"No." He said, sharply. "It was because I...I remembered things. Weird things."

"What kinds of things?" I asked.

"Memories. Dreams. I was scared, Izaya-niisan. I didn't know what was happening. I dreamed...I dreamed about another person. Another person with a family, friends and a happy life. This person felt like they were me. I felt all of it vividly. Then, then...something happened. And this person died...from the cancer thing. They were only sixteen."

He looked frightened and shook.

"I don't know what death is, but I felt like I went up to heaven in the dream because I watched them die. I felt like my heart wasn't there anymore. Then I woke up here, entirely confused and lost. I thought I wasn't meant to be here and was meant to be there. But I'm here now and I realized that I was being silly. You wouldn't hurt me. I was a bit scared." He laughed, looking a bit flustered.

"What do you mean?" I said, feeling even more scared for Kida-kun's mental state. He sounded insane. "That's not possible...Kida.."

"It is possible, Izaya-niisan." He said, his eyes blazing. "I used to be someone else, living somewhere else, with a different family, a different name, and a different...a different..." He trailed off, blushing for some reason.

"Different what...?" I stammered, too shocked for words.

His face flushed. "I...I used to be a girl!" He cried all at once.

"What?" Was he kidding me?

But then I started thinking about how he'd reacted to me touching him.

 _'Let me go!'_

He'd acted up when I'd touched his hair for some reason, when normally he enjoyed it. He'd acted like I was hell-bent on torturing him. He hadn't reacted to his name and had vehemently denied it. Then he had been blushing when I carried him and when I hugged him for no reason. Then...then I recalled how he'd tried going to the bathroom sitting down.

My eyes widened. I glanced back at Kida before me, who looked very serious but also embarrassed, before my mind settled on one thing: that's it, he's transgender. That's the only logical explanation.

"I'm not transgender." He said. What shocked me was how he said it in English.

"How do you know English?" I asked.

"From my past life." He mumbled. "It sounds crazy, Izaya-niisan, but it's true. I'm me, Kida. But I'm scared of this stuff. I don't want to be burdened by it any longer. I'm me, now! I'm not this other person! You're not going to be scared or think I'm crazy, right? Please don't leave me!" He begged, looking desperate.

"I...I believe you." I said, trying to assuage the kid, "It's just...hard for me to believe that you could be a teenager. And a girl...you've never been the girly type, Masaomi."

"Hmm..." He sighed, swinging his legs back and forth. "I don't know what it's like to be a girl, yet I feel like I should understand. You're not gonna call me a fake Kida?" He said, looking into my eyes.

"Masaomi...the past is the past. You can't change what happened there. You're you now, that's what matters. Forget about the past. You're you now. You're Masaomi Kida. You're not a girl anymore. Whatever happened there that was sad, it's time to move on. Don't be scared. I'm here and I'd never leave you." I patted his head.

He flushed again. "Thank you...Izaya-san."

He hugged me tighter, a wide smile on his face. It was a genuine smile of happiness.

"I'm glad I solved your problem, Kida. Now, can we focus on homework?"

His face fell. "Well, I'd rather do that than waste time." He said poutily.

"You're still a child in my eyes, no matter if you were older." I said, ruffling his hair. He pouted.

"Izayaaaaaaa-san." He complained.

"Get to studying." I said.

He cracked open the book. "Yes, master."

"Just keep studying. I'll help you." I said reassuringly.

That night, we all went to bed filled with happy thoughts.

I looked over at Kida, who was sound asleep on the other bed, smiling widely. It looked as though a great burden had been lifted off his shoulders. He'd had every right to be scared.

"Masaomi," I said to him in the morning, "Just remember-you're a child now. You can enjoy yourself now. You don't have that disease anymore. This isn't a curse. You're you now. Try to enjoy being a child okay? Quit acting so mature."

He looked at me reluctantly before nodding and turning to go outside to play.

I knew he wasn't going to listen right away.

But still, it's weird to have a little brother who was once the same age as you...and a chick.

But he's a boy now.

I sort of wished he hadn't told me that piece of information.

I was just glad he was done with fixating on it.

He deserves to be happy.


	6. Chapter 6 adjustment

A/N: Just a quick chapter before I go to sleep. I've had a lot of motivation for this story, so here we go. Lil Kida is getting adjusted to his role here in this world, so as a result, he's thinking less and less on his past life and more thinking about his life now. Aureus Puer has less emphasis on the reborn thing after a while cuz he's a little kid and little kids are easily distracted.

""Indeed, the only truly serious questions are ones that even a child can formulate. Only the most naive of questions are truly serious. They are the questions with no answers. A question with no answer is a barrier that cannot be breached. In other words, it is questions with no answers that set the limit of human possibilities, describe the boundaries of human existence."

― Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being

Chapter 6 Settling in to a new life

* * *

The sound of the alarm clock going off woke me up right away as I slammed the off button on it, before clambering to my feet...and falling off the bed on smaller legs than I was used to. I hit the floor with a loud thump, before opening my eyes and sitting up, rubbing my aching sides and yawning. Some hell of a wake up call this was. Looking up at my bed, I just sighed as I climbed back on it and stretched, pushing my stuffed toy away from me. I didn't really recognize it, but apparently Kida got it when he was younger from Izaya.

I was used to being Kida now, at age eleven, but that didn't mean I still wasn't annoyed by it. I'd just...grown resigned to it, I guess you could say. It's funny how one gets used to strange things if one is put through it enough, you know? A year ago, I was afraid of Izaya. Now, he was a close friend and a compatriot I could trust. I never told him a thing about being a chick in a previous life though. He wouldn't believe me.

I knew that much. I saw him sitting downstairs, stifling a yawn himself as he read over his phone. "Morning, Kida." He offered, drinking his tea before pecking at the pieces of fatty tuna near him.

Sighing, I took my seat.

"You sound like an old man, kid. You're only eleven." Izaya chuckled.

I laughed in response, before helping myself to some ramen for breakfast. I still had quite the appetite-nothing had changed there. Girl or boy, one thing is certain: I will eat you out of house and home if I can. That's just how I am.

"So, what do you want to do, since it's the weekend?" He asked me, patting my head.

I let him do that and just looked up at him before shrugging. "I don't know, whatever you wanna do. Maybe watch a movie?"

Of course it had to be a kid's movie. Nothing above PG, of course.

"You'll be able to watch those movies in two years' time, Kida." Izaya scolded, shaking his head at my attempt to pick out a PG-13 movie for us to watch. He settled on some sort of anime movie. I sat back in the chair, lazing about as I usually did when I had free time and wasn't being plagued by homework constantly. Man, do these schools slam work down on you like nobody's business. I've been busier here as a kid than I ever was as a teenager in high school. High school teachers back then spoiled the kids compared to all the work we do here.

From the moment I'd entered this life, I'd been working hard on homework after homework after homework. I had to go to bed by at least ten each night, and Izaya made sure his cell phone was taken from me well before then, much to my distaste.

"You need your rest," Was all he'd told me before.

As we settled in to watch the movie, my head leaned against his. I was happy to have someone beside me, who cared for me and be alive. Even if it was still weird going to the bathroom as a male, I was adjusting.

Izaya passed me popcorn to eat as we watched the movie.

It was a pretty good one, too, and I leaned my head against his shoulder, starting to nap again. I did that a lot lately.

"Kida, are you okay?" He asked me.

I nodded tiredly before leaning my head back against his shoulder, wrapping myself up in his jacket, which he reluctantly gave to me.

Before I knew it, the movie was over, probably because I'd napped through the other half of it.

I stared at Izaya as we got up to go get some lunch and then after that, I napped and read some books for my classes.

If this day sounded boring, it's because weekends usually were-I didn't have too many friends outside of school, after all, and Mikado lived far away from us.

However, on this day, Izaya sat up, looking at me.

"Kida, I'd like to introduce you to someone you should meet." He said.

Who?

I tilted my head, looking up at him. "Who?"

He smiled, "She's a young girl about your age. I think you two would get along well. Her name is Saki."

I stared at him, wide-eyed.

Was he serious?

Saki was here this early?


End file.
